There is no life in which we are not led to make choices, even difficult ones. We must not think of it as a difficult part of our journey. Quite the contrary: those who do not have the feeling of making choices, who at some point do not feel forced to make decisions, are probably living their lives passively, with the risk of events proceeding without real control. This way, you end up running into problems when it is too late for easy resolution.
It is therefore natural and beneficial to have the feeling of making decisions. Seeing two or more possible paths in front of us and deciding which one to take, or choosing whether the situation we live in at this precise moment is positive enough to let it continue or if we need a change, even a net one, to start a new phase of our life.
Choosing is not always easy, especially if the choice is having an important influence on important aspects of our life. Life is ours, of course, so we’re fully involved, physically and emotionally, with the choice we’re making, and being lucid isn’t always easy. This is why an external help can make the difference: talking to a good life coach can help us see things more clearly, discover within ourselves what we really want and develop a practical plan to make the choice step by step.
Let’s see three effective tips that can apply to everyone, to make an informed choice and reduce the chances of making bad decisions:
- Make sure you have enough time: anticipating the decision, thinking about it before we make it, is the first condition for the choice to be well thought out. Maybe we will wonder if we are being particularly apprehensive or anxious, but the truth is that the more the choice is felt as important, the more you want to be confident of doing the right one, therefore the more important it becomes to have time to think about it. Making decisions in a hurry, without preparation, when the crossroads have already arrived in front of us, can be risky.
- Accumulating elements for and against each option: regardless of how multiple and complex the alternatives may be, the question can always be schematized in a simple way. Each option has aspects that make us feel good about the idea of proceeding and others that scare us. It is better to take enough time and think clearly, and maybe write everything down on paper: first, make a list of all the possible options, then evaluate each possibility individually, let the thoughts emerge spontaneously, and mark what makes us feel good about that direction and what gives us anxiety, fear or worry. There is a practical difficulty associated with every decision and it is also possible to weight every sensation, and if we have enough time we can make the days (or weeks) pass by listening to feelings and instincts, bringing them back into the same paper every time. When we feel we are ready, we read again or mentally review the situation thus schematized, with clearly defined pros and cons for each alternative, and we will have a much clearer idea about the best choice.
- Think in terms of what you would most likely regret: choosing wisely does not mean waiting for the choice to be obvious and free of doubt, because this may never happen. It means accepting the fact that every choice carries with it the risk of being regrettable but, at the same time, striving to minimize the degree of regretting that choice. One way can be to imagine ourselves making that choice in fact, to follow it to the end, to feel within ourselves the sensations it gives us as a whole (considering what we have earned and what we have given up) and get a trustable idea that how we would be in case everything goes as it should and in case everything goes in the worst way. Each case has a probability that we could also come to estimate, of course, and how we would feel also depends on the character of each of us (some love the risk and don’t consider that bad the possibility of losing everything, for others the priority is to be as certain as possible not to give up what gives us safety today). There is no exact formula for making the right choice and things can be very different depending on each individual and situation, but weighing the choice in this way increases the chances of making the right one.
In the end, it is a question of reasoning in terms of probability, and not of luck/fate/destiny: every choice has risks and whatever direction we take, there remains the possibility that the choice is wrong. We just have to decrease that probability as much as possible and – if possible – avoid choices that carry with them a real possibility of disastrous consequences. Once the choice is made, a practical action plan is defined, and this is the field in which a good life coach makes his most effective contribution.
This article was translates from here by Zulfee Akhter