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Nicki Minaj, Let Me Calm Down: the lyrics & meaning

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Nicki Minaj’s fifth album, Pink Friday 2, has many interesting songs that reveal the softer, hidden side of the American singer. We already analyzed the intro song, Are You Gone Already, about her father’s death and her perspective on family. Let Me Calm Down is another track that caught the fans’ attention for the meaning of its lyrics: a deep reasoning about her relationship with her husband, with the contribution of J. Cole playing the part of a special messenger. In this article, we will go deeper into the song’s meaning, and you’ll also find the complete lyrics at the end.

Nicki Minaj – J. Cole, Let Me Calm Down: the lyrics & meaning

Let Me Calm Down is about the efforts needed to keep a long-term relationship: in the song lyrics, Nicki Minaj and J Cole explain how being together for many years requires a unique energy, fueled by determination and belief.

A little background to understand the song: Nicki Minaj has been married to her childhood friend Kenneth Petty since 2019. Their son, Papa Bear, is mentioned in her new song Are You Gone Already. Petty was Nicki’s friend when they were teenagers, then they took different directions and started dating 20 years later, in 2018. As of 2023, when the new album was released, they’ve been together for five years, raising a child and dealing with the difficulties of a long-term relationship, especially when dealing with complicated personalities (Nicki Minaj had a tough childhood with an abusive father, whereas Kenneth Petty was in prison in the 90s for attempted rape).

In Let Me Calm Down, Nicki Minaj virtually talks to her husband. She says she loves him and hates him simultaneously, exposing the daily issues in her relationship. She doesn’t regret being with him but wishes some things were different: having more space and avoiding fights. The lyrics hint at her frustration, referring to a life that presents daily challenges.

My heart sayin’ I love him while I’m screamin’ that I hate him
[…]
I never forgot where I was at the first day I met him
[…]
Just wish you would give me space when I really need it
To be alone in my zone when I’m really heated
Just ’cause I am quiet, don’t mean you’re defeated
Wish you ain’t need me to feel like you’re completed

When J. Cole’s turn comes, he plays the role of an external watcher, bringing a message of peace. With his Christian background, the rapper preaches a needed joint effort to keep the marriage healthy. It’s never easy, but divorcing would mean giving up the challenge. J. Cole mentions God, giving a stronger meaning to the lyrics of Let Me Calm Down.

But you need patience and a lot of extra faith from God
To keep the family together at a time when it’s so regular to break apart
So God forbid, y’all got a kid, therefore, I hate the thought
It’s you and her against the world until there ain’t no more breath in your lungs
I’m just a messenger, but God is who this message is from

J. Cole also explains that dealing with complicated personalities requires effort from both sides. He acknowledges Nicki Minaj could be “hard to deal with” because of her traumatic childhood (“it ain’t her fault”), so he suggests her husband “play it smart,” trying to avoid direct fights. The smartest thing we can do when we fight with our significant others is step back and de-escalate the contrasts: it doesn’t mean that we are “defeated,” as Nicki’s lyrics mention earlier; it means we prioritize the harmony of being together over the mechanisms of “winning a fight” or “being right.” Because you chose each other and keep making daily efforts to make it work.

She bad as f–k but hard to deal with, and it ain’t her fault
She got ambition like the n–as, and the vision for herself
So she can’t rest until she feel like she done made her mark
So if you love her, then you gotta learn to play your part
Sometimes you gotta play the back
[…]
you the n–a that she wanna tat her name across

Ultimately, this is the authentic meaning behind the lyrics of Let Me Calm Down: living with you can be challenging after so many years, and I wish some things were easier; yet, I love you, and I’m still here, making an effort and asking you to do your part. It’s Nicki Minaj’s perspective on living together after you choose someone for life: it’s not easy, but giving up is not an option.

Read other popular song lyrics and their meaning on Auralcrave

The official audio and the complete lyrics

Nicki Minaj - Let Me Calm Down (feat. J. Cole) [Official Audio]
Watch this video on YouTube.

Hold, hold you
Let me hold you
Wanna hold, hold you
Let me hold you
Hold, hold you (Let me, let me, let me)

(Nicki Minaj)
Pull off and I always hit ’em
He actin’ like I ain’t always with him
My heart sayin’ I love him while I’m screamin’ that I hate him
And ain’t no more debatin’, this time, it’s a ultimatum
I never forgot where I was at the first day I met him
Yeah, it was love at first sight, but I ain’t never sweat him
I knew if it was meant to be that one day I would let him
Twenty years later, them decisions, I don’t regret them

Just wish you would give me space when I really need it
To be alone in my zone when I’m really heated
Just ’cause I am quiet, don’t mean you’re defeated
Wish you ain’t need me to feel like you’re completed
Don’t wanna say somethin’ mean when I don’t mean it
Million missed calls, I don’t wanna talk
Just did a detox, now I wanna spar

I wrote a line for you and it was beautiful
I made a sign for you to say you’re beautiful
You’re so, so irresistible
Take me to somewhere mystical
You’re so
Do you know?
For you, I promise I’ll try
For you, I promise I’ll try
For you, I promise I’ll try

(J. Cole)
Uh, havin’ her ain’t for the faint of heart
She bad as f–k but hard to deal with, and it ain’t her fault
She got ambition like the n–as, and the vision for herself
So she can’t rest until she feel like she done made her mark
So if you love her, then you gotta learn to play your part
Sometimes you gotta play the back
But when you do, make sure you play it smart
All these n–as want her, so they hatin’ hard
They talkin’ slick and make you wanna pull a rated-R

You like her, love her like a brother, like her manager, an A&R
Plus a therapist when it start rainin’ hard
Her life was trauma filled, it left her with a tainted heart
Yet you the n–a that she wanna tat her name across
But you need patience and a lot of extra faith from God
To keep the family together at a time when it’s so regular to break apart
So God forbid, y’all got a kid, therefore, I hate the thought

It’s you and her against the world until there ain’t no more breath in your lungs
I’m just a messenger, but God is who this message is from
I wanna send you my respect because I rep for the ones
That hold they wifey down despite all of the extras that come
Word to Willy Smith, these silly n–as heckle and shun
As if they life is somehow perfect and they never been plunged
Into a dark place, so I can’t respect when it’s done
It’s family first through the worst, comin’ second to none, for real

I wrote a line for you and it was beautiful
I made a sign for you to say you’re beautiful
You’re so, so irresistible
Take me to somewhere mystical
You’re so
For you, know
For you, I promise I’ll try

Published by Carlo Affatigato

Carlo has been a web content creator for over 10 years. He founded Auralcrave in 2015, envisioning it as a new space capable of offering different perspectives on topics that passionate all of us. With a scientific background, Carlo developed an interest in music, cinema, literature, and art at a young age, transforming it into a complementary dimension to his professional growth. For years, he was a music journalist specializing in electronic and dance music, writing for the most important Italian magazines (both online and print). Movies and TV series have been a true obsession in many phases of his life: during university, it was not uncommon for him to set the alarm in the middle of the night to watch classic films airing on TV. With the advent of the Internet, Carlo became a keen observer of web and social phenomena, addressing light topics such as advertising, trends, fashion, and general themes. He is the main author of Auralcrave and personally manages its social media, editorial line, book publication, resource management, and business expansion. A former engineer, life coach, husband, and father, he believes that every area of knowledge has interesting stories that deserve to be told and is convinced that doing so makes the world a better place.